It beat me for six months or so

That’s how long I think I’ve been seriously ill for.

It coincides with my wife getting a new job and the whole global financial crisis (GFC). I had to retrench a staff member and that was when I started to feel the work and court case pressures building.

I had been on an anti-depressant for a several months, using mild sleeping pills. I got to a stage where I only was taking the anti-depressive medication. Going/ getting to sleep took minutes. I was genuinely tired. There’s always some work that we take home with us and this was not stressful (fun actually, process designs and service management policy for our enterprise services) so it was incredibly balance yet challenging, as I had recently been appointed manager of a new enterprise service team. Things were pretty good all round, although work was slowly demoralising me due to the GFC hitting mining and resources very hard. We had to make a lot a redundancies and I hope that experience was my. I was told by my HR manager (present during the meeting)  that I allowed the staff member to leave with his head held high and with dignity. He even came back for a farewell gig we put on for him.

Coinciding with that was a physical exercise routine that I’d started work on… Was tough but a good balance between cardio and strength.Work was challenging, as I had just created a new enterprise service level team. Things were pretty good all round, although work was slowly demoralising me due to the GFC hitting mining and resources very hard. We had to make a lot a redundancies and I hope that is my last. I’m not sure how to remain dignified after retrenching someone.

I still don’t feel right when I have to make some decisions. I’m obsessive, but the perfectionism pays off with a quality Service. That’s where I think I let myself down. My mate Baz said this ages ago — I didn’t listen — need a few runs on the board, get that confidence back. Once it’s back, then it’s time to make zany management decisions. (I let my guys be boss for a day if I’m away… to a certain extent of course ).

I’m starting to look for part-time work, I need to practise my human to human contact. I’ve also got to control my mouth… I enjoy telling people what I really think, this is often bad. So keeping things un-smartar5ed is my mission.

You’re right, it probably is too soon for part-time work but I need the cash and can always look elsewhere for something a bit more permanent.

So this post is letting you the reader know that I’m getting better. The past 6 months were hell, things are slowly improving for me. I’ll keep that steady pace, not get too excited and cricket’s started already.

x

I’d like to thank you for your support, (worldwide, it’s amazing) and I hope that I can start to give you some healthhacks/ lifehacks/ unihacks soon. After all I have been call the LAPS MASTER:  Do Little as Anything, do as little as Possible or Smartar5e your way out of a job… basically most possibile chores can be done ‘Little effor’t is my secret (consider it a euphemism for laziness and one for process revision, reduction thus improvement).

I’m not kidding about the ‘LAPS Master’ moniker but unfortunately to get better I’m going to have to ditch it for a while.

I’m starting to regularly exercise again now.

I’ve had other medical issues that have flattened me for about 5 to 6 months… My poor Tarries. As my wife (well, we’re recently separated) she’s had to see the joy of things going so well and the horrors of a mental breakdown.

As the stress has eased (it’s been a week and already feel happier); I have closure.

I have a few months to make some pretty intense decisions but thankfully I can do it from this first chapter of my life. Symbolically I’ve decided to retain 26/11/2009 as a memorial day… I actually call them random birthdays (day where I feel like LAPS and going out for drinkies) so this will be the only dated

random birthday.